Yes, I said it and I think you all know what I am talking about….the decade check in….for women this is unbelievably a part of life…I seriously can’t be the only one? Or am I?
When you are born you know no better about what you look like or who men or women are. That takes time to develop….as many things do with each decade I have learned.
When I was 10, I recall realizing that I no longer wan to play with Barbie’s but was now becoming more and more fascinated with NKOTB (If you knew that was New Kids On The Block before I just had to write it here….well you had a cool childhood!). At 10, I experienced one of my first deaths in life, my Grandma Gunn whom I adored. This was a pivotal moment in life of witnessing how my Mom stepped in to care for my Grandpa. Every night (or every second night) my Mom would walk down a plate of dinner to my Grandpa. I know she did so much more for him but that memory sticks out clear as day. I began to develop as a women, the knowing to take care of others. Thanks Mom!
As my twenties rolled in like a big storm cloud and I was out there “being” who I thought I needed to be as a married women (At 19, I really think it should illegal to get married….I am thinking till your 30 is actually a superb plan but I don’t condemn anyone who thinks otherwise….I just don’t agree….hahaha) Life took a sudden turn from being super fit and single to married, confused, trying to find myself, heavy and an avid smoker to divorced at 25. Yep, my 20’s screeched in like a Formula 1 car taking the sharpest turn. I wasn’t sure I would get to do my 3rd Decade Check-in due to my journey of a thousand roads 20’s…but here I am…2 decades later and the war wounds have held up nicely!
When I got to my thirties, the view of this decade had me doing strange check-ins with myself physically, mentally and emotionally. My body began to change. It’s like one day you’re 29 and then POOF….the #30 buzzer gets pushed and a woman’s body goes into an exploration of self-confidence, humor over the things that jiggle that never did before(I cannot be the only one who experienced their first jiggly underarm when doing a chin up. ) I began to love long sleeves for a while till I got that under control again! My thirties were true golden years. I grew into loving myself and knowing what I will stand for, to still fighting at times to know if I am headed in the right direction, to ROCKIN this 30’s party like it was 1999!
Life was seriously AMAZING in my 30’s. Best DECADE to date!
Then May 2 of this year happened….the marker of a new decade and not just ANY decade…but my 40’s. Honestly, before this one, all other decade self check-ins were never as intense as this year has been. Having had my 39th year be exciting, challenging, tragic, expanding, re-invention and so much more….it was so weird to begin the thought process that I am now 40. I always have said “you are only as old as you think you are!” suddenly I had to check in to ask myself “how old do YOU think you are??” Suddenly, I had aches where I had never experienced pain before…I began to examine the wrinkles in my face, every crevice of my body…..then I began the check in to my thoughts, my business, my relationships (personal & friendships…) my entire life seemed to have really come into the spotlight for a FULL ON evaluation and I was being graded like I went to MIT, Standford and Harvard all combined!
I was never this hard on me before.
It has been surprising to me to see how far I have come and then to see how far I have to go. When I really began to examine things I could see my laugh wrinkles as “Happy Bench Markers” of years well-lived. The aches began to feel like a good pain of years spent dancing the nights away and loving every minute of it. I began to embrace all things in which I had been resisting and owning them like medals of honour for how far I have come and always remembering how far I have to go yet.
I know I am only a month into my 40’s but slowly and with time I feel like this life is only going to get better with time and there will be some spills of this fine wine along the way, however, I feel that the opportunity to age well staying positive, creating new challenges and pushing past boundaries will happen in this decade. There is a wisdom in this decade. One that challenges the mind and shapes the future.
I cannot say what my 5th check-in will bring. It may be like the 4th or it may be a piece of cake (or I will just want cake…not sure yet….we shall see….if I am lucky) All I know right now is that I do not feel like I am 40 (more like 27 and holding) and I hope that it will always be like this. Wisdom, laugh wrinkles, in shape, having fun, loved & loving all that surrounds me.
Let’s raise a glass to all the spectacular women embracing their 40’s in 2017 and those who are on your way to your next decade check-in no matter what the year!
Love you ladies,
Tammy
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