Health & Well Being, Personal Stories

I Am Under Construction…It Is A GREAT Thing!

I have discovered that everything in life, jobs, relationships, being alive, is always evolving and if I stay “static” or not moving in one area then everything eventually seems like it gets “stuck”. It becomes a force that is very hard to move forward.

The beginning of 2018 brought upon many incidents/accidents that have had me begin to re-evaluate much of what I have been working on.  Not like a problem, only that knowing when many challenges show up, sometimes it is like the universe’s way of saying “HELLO TAMMY!! Are you listening?”

The most prominent that started my year were 2 car accidents less than 2 month’s apart. Both times I was rear-ended and ended up with whiplash and concussions. The second time I was hit, my car that I just purchased less than 6 month’s prior to the accidents, it didn’t make it.

Being that I work primarily in the fitness industry this was very hard physically to see some of the limitations I was having after both accidents.  I had headaches regularly, my body was very sore constantly.  I would easily forget things I had just done or said in the first few weeks following these accidents. It was terribly frustrating at the time.

Thankfully, I know my body well and went directly to my chiropractor and medical doctor right after the accidents. I immediately got the support I needed and have bounced back extremely quickly so I can keep working doing what I love.

That being said, the accidents also opened something up for me. I realized I really had no back up plan if something were to happen that I didn’t “bounce back” again if something else were to happen. The question to myself was “If I am not able to dance anymore, then what?”

I realized this year that my passion is and always will be to support others in discovering what lights them up. Supporting others in finding the relationships they are looking for. Supporting people of all abilities to move and find their groove! Supporting others in making their dreams reality, whether it be fitness goals, relationships, financial, building businesses, creating extraordinary events, and so much more.

The company I have built, the Live OUT LOUD Movement, is so much more than just a fitness program based primarily in Zumba Fitness.

The Live OUT LOUD Movement is a LIFE MOVEMENT.

A place to take all that seems like heavy weights on our shoulders and discover the silver lining within them all to produce extraordinary results in the face of no agreement in life.

I truly believe that everything happens in our lives for a reason. Even all the “bad stuff” that I wish never happened. I see it as it had to happen to show me something that I couldn’t see was available before. In the moment, it never “feels” that way, however the true gift of this MOVEMENT is the opportunity to look more in-depth at what is happening and discover what I/we can’t see right away.  Discovering the knowledge that is hidden deep within what ails us to creating a strong and vibrant life that impacts ourselves and others by what is discovered!

I am in the process of rebuilding new aspects to the Live OUT LOUD Movement and new offerings over the next few months to really dive deep into what is possible through this company to help people in a unique way.

I hope you stick around to see what is next and how it all plays out. I will always continue to dance for as long as my body will let me, you can bet money on that and now is the time for me to take what I have built thus far and expand it far beyond where it is today!

EXCITING TIMES!

I'm under construction and loving it

Benefits of Movement

Do You Lose Your “Self” In Relationships?

Relationships work best when each person continues to know who they are for themselves and to honor the other.

What does that really mean?

I personally, have been in quite a few relationships and one thing I have noticed that always had the relationship fall apart was if I or the person I was with stopped being who they are to suit my needs or for me to suit their needs.  It is like giving up your identity to please someone else.

There is a level at which being with one another that we do need to compromise and find interests that we share together, however, when I was giving up who I was or what was important to me, I stopped doing the things I loved to do.  For example hobbies, sports, being out with friends.

I became dependant on that person to have my life be happy  and working (I had myself no longer be responsible for my own happiness) and inevitably it would end. When I was in a relationship where the other person would behave in this way I saw myself looking to see how far I could push it and when no matter what I did they just had to be there I would eventually end the relationship.

I have discovered in the relationship I am in now, a whole world that I didn’t know was actually possible.  We both came into the relationship (9 years ago) not looking for anything. There was no expectation of a long-term commitment and we both had no attachment to making anything work. Over time we just realized we had fun together. We honored what each other loved to do and gave each other the personal time that couples so desperately need to continue to be their own self.

My partner and I say what is on our mind to each other and we also make sure before we say it that we are saying it in a way that the other person can hear it and does not feel attacked.  Sometimes I open with “I need to talk to you and I am not sure how this is going to come out and I want you to know it is totally not my intention to make you upset…” and then I say what I need to say.  He does the same.  It allows us to communicate in such a way that we can hear each other and do not take the words personally or in a “bad” way.

He and I have our life together and we also have our own lives, which we share about with one another and may not be a participant in it. For example, my partner is an avid photographer. He takes workshops, etc, and shares about them with me but I may not participate.  I am an avid lover of dance and dance all the time, he does not dance and although he tries from time to time….let’s just say it’s not his forte and he chooses not to!

We never attempt to pretend that we like something the other person is doing or try to “become” what they want.  We are accepting of each others individuality and I truly believe that’s what makes us work. Open communication, accepting and being true to who we are. We love each other dearly and we are not obsessed over how our relationship needs to look.

If you look at the relationship you are in now or the relationship you want…are you hooked by the expectations you have? Do you lose your “self” in relationships? 

Look to see. It may be the key to you finding the relationship of your dreams!

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If you are struggling to find the relationship you want or are in a relationship and currently feeling lost or struggling to communicate, contact me below.  Relationships are work and CAN be a lot of FUN!

Benefits of Movement, Health & Well Being, Personal Stories

Cynthia’s Journey Through Fitness…..INSPIRING!

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Recently I was speaking with one of my regular clients Cynthia who has been coming to my Zumba fitness classes for just over a year.  She was sharing with me how happy she is that she made the change in her life and found a fitness that she truly loves to do each week.

I said to her, “I know you have lost some weight, it would be so great if you had some before and after pictures so we could see the difference”.

She said “I do! Here!”

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My jaw nearly hit the floor!

As an instructor, I can see changes but I had no idea how much her whole body had shifted.  She shared with me that with working out typically 3 times a week in my classes it also had her naturally making better food choices and within the year the weight has naturally just melted off.  She has not used any other form to lose any of the weight other than zumba classes, eating healthy and dancing her way through life! 🙂

Cynthia is a bright light in class and you can see by the way she laugh’s and plays and dances through class that her confidence and love for music and herself shines so bright!

The classes I teach are not just solely about losing weight…and while that tends to be a great “side-effect”, they are also about building self-confidence, releasing stress and finding an outlet to support you in living the life you deserve!

Cynthia is a great example of taking on all of the elements of the Live OUT LOUD Movement classes and I could not be prouder of her accomplishments so far!

Just think, this could be you! Your story….YOUR JOURNEY!

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If you are interested in our fitness classes, life coaching, nutrition counselling, please contact me today by filling in the contact form below.

Personal Stories

Tragedy Gets Us Present To So Much More…

I have had a hard time writing since friday.  I got a message from a friend in the U.S. about a shooting in a saskatchewan school and the fear I had for my niece and friends who are teachers in that province and here in Toronto left me completely paralyzed in my thoughts.

There is so much violence in the world that it has become so common that I saw how I have become numb in a way to what has been going on….

Saturday morning when I heard what happened on friday was one of the first times, I can see in a long time, that I had the experience like all this violence was much too close to home.  I was filled with so much sadness and upset for the world in which we live. For me, it was like that was the one place where that kind of violence could never happen and yet it did.

My heart goes out to those families and the communities all across the province and all the world that are affected by the ongoing violence.

Growing up on the prairies was such a gift that my parents gave me.  The community and love that you find in saskatchewan is like no other.  There is a closeness.  A genuine love for each other and caring in my experience.

What I continue to learn daily is that staying positive, being kind to others, looking for the silver lining is not only a way of life for me but it is my job to ensure others are able to look at their lives and deal powerfully with whatever shows up and create a life they love too.  This may be a small piece that I can give back to the world and it is something I will work at everyday to ensure those around me have freedom.

They say by positively impacting one child the reach of that child can be as great as 10,000 people….I can only hope that by giving that to people of all ages the reach can expand to hundreds of thousands of people.

The message for today: Be kind to one another. Do something that lights up your soul, has someone else smile, that brings joy to those around you.

If you are having a tough day, be in communication with someone who can support you and/or get to a fitness class and sweat out some HAPPY endorphins so you can think clearly.  You are never alone in this world.

I love you all.

Tammy

 

 

Personal Stories

Living In The Present And In The World With Others

Yesterday was a cold day in the city of Toronto.  I dreaded having to go out and bus and subway to my first class which takes me about an hour to get to.  I waited for my bus for about 15 minutes in the cold and struck up a conversation with the girl standing near me.  The time passed rather quickly when I was just being with another person.

Once in the subway and on the train, instead of picking up my phone or listening to music I just sat and was present to my surroundings and the people who rode along with me.  It is really interesting to look at people and imagine what life is like for them.  Although we really don’t know, and NEVER assume that you do know, there were a few faces that looked so sad.  They had a look of loneliness and others were buried deep into their electronics and never looked up to notice others or that the train was stopping.  Connecting and making eye contact with the few who were just sitting, I would smile at them and some would smile back and others would dart their eyes in the opposite direction.

Human beings are very interesting!

Once at my change stop to jump on the Yonge line, I saw a young girl sitting on the floor of the station doing a crossword puzzle with two dogs that layed quite content with their heads in her lap.  She had a sign sitting on the floor in front of her that read “Homeless. Anything you can spare makes a difference”.

She did not beg. She did not ask.

She sat there quietly completing her crossword with her dogs.  As I walked past her I couldn’t help but think that my complaints earlier in the day about having to leave my warm home and take a bus and subway were quite petty complaints compared to what this young woman must be experiencing.  I didn’t know her story or what had her be homeless and it was not my place to judge.

I started to walk up the stairs to the next platform and something inside of me kept telling me to turn around and give her something.  I stopped halfway up the stairs and everyone behind me got quite angry as I turned around and began my way back down to her.

I didn’t care.

When I got the bottom I opened my wallet and all I had was a $20 bill.  I thought for a moment about what I needed that $20 for and I couldn’t think of anything more important than giving it to her.

I approached her and kneeled down to her.  “This is for you. Please stay warm today. I can see you, you are important”, and I gave her a smile.  She looked at me in shock and then a smile spread across her face.

“Thank you so much.” she said as I could visibly see her eyes well up.

As I stood up I knew it was all the right thing to do. This young ladies face is so fresh in my mind even today.  She was maybe early twenties like my step daughter and who knows what her story is and I didn’t need to know it to help her.

I cannot imagine how hard it is to live on the street and I do hope I never have to.  It is one of those things that we may think could never happen to us.  I often think those who are on the street never thought it would happen to them either but there they are.

The relationships that we have with others is also a product of the relationships we have with ourselves to others.  Are you present to others when they are speaking to you? Do you listen or are you too quick to judge and can’t hear what they are really saying?

Be present to your surroundings today and grateful for the life you have. We only get this one.

Do you struggle with your relationships in life?  Do you feel like they never work out?  I can help.

Send me an email here and we can set up a call: 

 

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Personal Stories

The Struggle of Comparison is Real in Our Minds

The struggle is real. At least it occurs that way for me in the moment it is happening.

Do you ever compare yourself to others success….like “why does it always work out for them and not me?”

Whether it be in relationships, career, fitness, winning the lottery….all of it. There are times when the comparison game is really real and it takes me down a dark tunnel or “I am not good enough”.

As soon as I begin to play the comparison game, I begin to struggle to even be happy for another person succeeding in whatever area it is.  I begin to wonder why it doesn’t work out for me and how long will I stay in this broken condition until something awesome like what happened to Bob (or whatever their name was) will happen to me.

ME ME ME ME ME!  Ever been there?

I have learned it has very little to do with me and it never did.  Yes, all that stressing and comparing is really useless and here is why…. are you ready for it….

NOT ONE of us is made EXACTLY the same…..even identical twins are not EXACTLY identical.  They may look-alike but if you look really close you will notice subtle differences and they make different decisions and choices just like everybody else.

The good news really is that not one of us is exactly the same and therefore comparing ourselves to others is really a crazy practice that our thoughts enjoy doing to us!

The moment that I begin to go down the road of comparing where I am at or my success to another person, I make myself stop and look at all the things I have to be grateful for in my life.  It takes practice.

The even crazier thing is sometimes those who we compare ourselves to are comparing themselves TO US!  As a human this is really a natural phenomenon that we have to train our brain to not get wrapped up in comparing ourselves to others.

I am better, you are better than me, she is better than him, he is better than that guy….blah blah blah blah blah.  At the end of the day that person who “looks” super successful may be the one who goes home and wishes for a different life and is struggling everyday.  Then you see the person living in a tiny apartment working a job YOU think is terrible and they are so happy and are travelling the world meeting new people….. We really just don’t know and if we only look at the surface of people we never really know who a person is.

My husband is very successful at what he does and he loves what he does.  I cannot even for a moment compare myself to him because our fields of work are very different and there are times when my mind says “God, I wish I was as happy as him….” the crazy part is….I AM! It just doesn’t look the same way as him.

I find our brains and thought patterns to be extremely fascinating and mainly because I have been watching my own and others around me for so many years.  The struggle that I create for myself in the moment IS real because I allow my thoughts to say it is and then that is when I get stuck in my life and feel like nothing is happening.

Can anyone relate?

Think about who you compare yourself to and give yourself from freedom today to remind yourself that YOU ARE NOT THEM.  You are unique in your own way and display talents only you possess.  You are individual and that is pretty awesome to discover!  Take a moment to make a list of your talents and all that you have to be grateful for in your life.  Put aside all worry and doubt. LIVE in THIS moment.

Are you ready to talk with someone about what you are dealing with?  Are you committed to having 2016 be your best year yet and have a specific goal you want to go to work on and need someone to hold you accountable?  Are you ready to live YOUR life?  Email me below and let’s talk:

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Health & Well Being, Personal Stories

YOU Are In Every One Of YOUR Relationships…

I have noticed over the years that in all the relationships I have had that were not working with others, I was always in them…..

Coincidence? I think not.  

For the record, I never used to think this way, that is that it had anything to do with me.  I used to have it like there was something wrong with “them” over there…you know the “one” who keeps doing it all wrong or saying things that were so dumb and clearly with no thought first!  I would complain about how what they said was so stupid and how “they” hurt my feelings and didn’t understand me.

Then there was the defining moment in my life when I realized that ALL my relationships kept ending and I was always the one in them.  It was actually kind of funny in the moment I could see it.

People had no hope hanging out with me.  You said something that I “thought” was hurting me and I would run.  I had the best pair of invisible running shoes…..you wouldn’t even know that I took off running because physically I would still be standing right in front of you but in my mind, I was outta there!  Soon I would stop answering my phone, avoid being in places they were at and eventually own up and end it and then I would be the victim like they had done something to me and that’s why it all went down the way it did.

The truth was, I was a jerk and not responsible.  If everybody got a long in the world that would be awesome and also a tad bit weird.  It is actually okay to not see eye to eye with someone. However, it’s not okay to be a jerk to them, cut them off at the knees and then blame them for how YOUR life is turning out.

Have you done this? Are you doing it now?

Consider, blame, shame and guilt tactics are just a way to avoid taking ownership of your relationships and life.

When I could see how I blamed my ex husband for why our marriage fell apart, I could actually see what a jerk I had been being too.  He didn’t stand a chance for us to end everything amicably until many years later. The poor souls who dated me after that marriage….seriously, you were all amazing and you didn’t stand a chance to get to know the REAL Tammy.  My guard was up 24/7 and anything you did that I didn’t like would just be the check mark I could mentally put beside the list of ways in which “people hurt me”.

I have to say, that was really the hardest way to live and my biggest struggle time in my life.  Literally, it was like the light bulb came on one day and I stopped blaming everyone (even those I didn’t realize I was blaming….until the light bulb came on) for where my life was at and I began to really own all my mistakes and errors. I began to be in communication and apologize to those I hurt along the way  and that began to have me have freedom from the past life I had created.

Over the years I have learned a lot.  I have learned that it really doesn’t matter how people treat me, I have a choice and a say in how I react and act to it.  I get to say how my life goes through “good” times and “bad”.  It is not what someone does or says to me that defines my life, it is who I am being in my life that defines me.

There is no outside source from me that can hurt me, only I can hurt me by what I choose to believe or tell myself about any situation or comment made.

As humans, I find, we get so mixed up with this because we really do have differing opinions and thoughts to how things should go and when others do not agree with us….well this is where the conversation of how will YOU react comes in.  We see people starting physical fights over parking spots even….parking spots people? Really???

I have learned that NOBODY can hurt me when I come from owning my life fully.

Do I have moments where I react like somebody has done something to me and I am hurt?

Yes.

Then when I am done giving my power away to words of another, I look at how I reacted to what they said and what I told myself about that and then I forgive MYSELF for being so cruel to me.  The lesson here is the only one who can hurt you, is you.  In every relationship you have….YOU are always there.  The place to look so you have power is to look at YOU!

OWN YOUR LIFE and you will never live another day upset/hurt by what others say or do.

Are you ready to take on your life fully in 2016 and OWN your relationships, life, career, health?  Need someone to support you through the process?  Send me an email and let’s get started!

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