Personal Stories

Kindness is Contagious!

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In a world of busy, it is important to remember whether you are in person OR on-line you have a choice in EVERY moment to show love and kindness.

So many times I see negativity being spread on social media and just the other day, I was at the gas station and witnessed a guy yelling at a woman because in his opinion, she was taking too long at the pump.  Whenever I see this kind of behavior whether on-line or in person, I have to wonder how much energy all that negativity just sucked out of the person dishing it out and how much energy was taken away from the person who it got delivered on.

I know first-hand when I am being kind to someone in either situation, by the end I am lit up and so is the person I supported or spoke kindly to.  It is like a little energy boost without doing a physical work out. It just feels great!

I assert that when we/you/I dump negativity on someone quite the opposite occurs and a loss of energy happens. This leaves us feeling drained, unhappy and many times ready to give up.

That being said, if you want to energize your day, spend the day doing kind deeds or saying kind things to others and see how your energy level boosts!

An attitude of gratitude and sprinkling kindness everywhere you go brings on Good Karma, abundance of energy and an awesome life!

Don’t just take my word for it….GET OUT THERE AND SPRINKLE KINDNESS EVERYWHERE! 🙂

Much love,

 

Tammy

 

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Health & Well Being, Personal Stories

I Am Under Construction…It Is A GREAT Thing!

I have discovered that everything in life, jobs, relationships, being alive, is always evolving and if I stay “static” or not moving in one area then everything eventually seems like it gets “stuck”. It becomes a force that is very hard to move forward.

The beginning of 2018 brought upon many incidents/accidents that have had me begin to re-evaluate much of what I have been working on.  Not like a problem, only that knowing when many challenges show up, sometimes it is like the universe’s way of saying “HELLO TAMMY!! Are you listening?”

The most prominent that started my year were 2 car accidents less than 2 month’s apart. Both times I was rear-ended and ended up with whiplash and concussions. The second time I was hit, my car that I just purchased less than 6 month’s prior to the accidents, it didn’t make it.

Being that I work primarily in the fitness industry this was very hard physically to see some of the limitations I was having after both accidents.  I had headaches regularly, my body was very sore constantly.  I would easily forget things I had just done or said in the first few weeks following these accidents. It was terribly frustrating at the time.

Thankfully, I know my body well and went directly to my chiropractor and medical doctor right after the accidents. I immediately got the support I needed and have bounced back extremely quickly so I can keep working doing what I love.

That being said, the accidents also opened something up for me. I realized I really had no back up plan if something were to happen that I didn’t “bounce back” again if something else were to happen. The question to myself was “If I am not able to dance anymore, then what?”

I realized this year that my passion is and always will be to support others in discovering what lights them up. Supporting others in finding the relationships they are looking for. Supporting people of all abilities to move and find their groove! Supporting others in making their dreams reality, whether it be fitness goals, relationships, financial, building businesses, creating extraordinary events, and so much more.

The company I have built, the Live OUT LOUD Movement, is so much more than just a fitness program based primarily in Zumba Fitness.

The Live OUT LOUD Movement is a LIFE MOVEMENT.

A place to take all that seems like heavy weights on our shoulders and discover the silver lining within them all to produce extraordinary results in the face of no agreement in life.

I truly believe that everything happens in our lives for a reason. Even all the “bad stuff” that I wish never happened. I see it as it had to happen to show me something that I couldn’t see was available before. In the moment, it never “feels” that way, however the true gift of this MOVEMENT is the opportunity to look more in-depth at what is happening and discover what I/we can’t see right away.  Discovering the knowledge that is hidden deep within what ails us to creating a strong and vibrant life that impacts ourselves and others by what is discovered!

I am in the process of rebuilding new aspects to the Live OUT LOUD Movement and new offerings over the next few months to really dive deep into what is possible through this company to help people in a unique way.

I hope you stick around to see what is next and how it all plays out. I will always continue to dance for as long as my body will let me, you can bet money on that and now is the time for me to take what I have built thus far and expand it far beyond where it is today!

EXCITING TIMES!

I'm under construction and loving it

Benefits of Movement

Do You Lose Your “Self” In Relationships?

Relationships work best when each person continues to know who they are for themselves and to honor the other.

What does that really mean?

I personally, have been in quite a few relationships and one thing I have noticed that always had the relationship fall apart was if I or the person I was with stopped being who they are to suit my needs or for me to suit their needs.  It is like giving up your identity to please someone else.

There is a level at which being with one another that we do need to compromise and find interests that we share together, however, when I was giving up who I was or what was important to me, I stopped doing the things I loved to do.  For example hobbies, sports, being out with friends.

I became dependant on that person to have my life be happy  and working (I had myself no longer be responsible for my own happiness) and inevitably it would end. When I was in a relationship where the other person would behave in this way I saw myself looking to see how far I could push it and when no matter what I did they just had to be there I would eventually end the relationship.

I have discovered in the relationship I am in now, a whole world that I didn’t know was actually possible.  We both came into the relationship (9 years ago) not looking for anything. There was no expectation of a long-term commitment and we both had no attachment to making anything work. Over time we just realized we had fun together. We honored what each other loved to do and gave each other the personal time that couples so desperately need to continue to be their own self.

My partner and I say what is on our mind to each other and we also make sure before we say it that we are saying it in a way that the other person can hear it and does not feel attacked.  Sometimes I open with “I need to talk to you and I am not sure how this is going to come out and I want you to know it is totally not my intention to make you upset…” and then I say what I need to say.  He does the same.  It allows us to communicate in such a way that we can hear each other and do not take the words personally or in a “bad” way.

He and I have our life together and we also have our own lives, which we share about with one another and may not be a participant in it. For example, my partner is an avid photographer. He takes workshops, etc, and shares about them with me but I may not participate.  I am an avid lover of dance and dance all the time, he does not dance and although he tries from time to time….let’s just say it’s not his forte and he chooses not to!

We never attempt to pretend that we like something the other person is doing or try to “become” what they want.  We are accepting of each others individuality and I truly believe that’s what makes us work. Open communication, accepting and being true to who we are. We love each other dearly and we are not obsessed over how our relationship needs to look.

If you look at the relationship you are in now or the relationship you want…are you hooked by the expectations you have? Do you lose your “self” in relationships? 

Look to see. It may be the key to you finding the relationship of your dreams!

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If you are struggling to find the relationship you want or are in a relationship and currently feeling lost or struggling to communicate, contact me below.  Relationships are work and CAN be a lot of FUN!

Personal Stories

How You Show Up In Your Relationships

Do you ever see those people that fit the “perfect couple, white picket fence” theory?  I always want to be the fly on the wall of their home to see the real truth!  Is it really like that? Or do they argue?

It is kind of the same when you go on social media today.  People who look really super happy, but are they really?

We never know what is going on for people behind closed doors and for that reason in itself, we as fellow human beings, should be mindful to not judge or put our opinions on others and their lives.  As a society we tend to show people what we “think” they want to see or show them the side of ourselves that will come with the least amount of judging.

What happens when we take this kind of approach is we suffocate who we really are.   Like who we really are is not important and whatever it is others are saying about us is.

Since Nino and I have been together (nearly 9 years now, where did that time go??) I have had people tell me it won’t work out because we have an age gap.  We come from two totally different worlds in occupation.  To many, nothing about our relationship makes sense.  He is organized, I am open to having to look for my keys on a daily basis.  He thrives on structure, I fly by the seat of my pants….and the list goes on and on.

Do we have arguments? Yes. Do we stay mad at each other or hold grudges? No.

I do not allow the opinions of others to squash how I feel about him. I do not allow our differences or arguments to get in the way of us having a great relationship and neither does he. While we are completely opposite in so many areas, we are able to celebrate and cheer on each other for our uniqueness.  There are moments when we want to “choke” each other (We have NEVER done this by the way, it is just a phrase) but didn’t you have those moments yourself in a relationship or with a sibling?

Were you able to find a way to apologize/work it out and have it all work again?

If no, then that is the area for you to go to work on in your relationships.  This may not be just with your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife.  This extends all the way into the relationships you have with your own parents, siblings, friends….anyone you see that you have a specific relationship with.

People end/cut off relationships in their life because of things that happen or are said that they make so much meaning out of that they write people off.  It is sad because there was a point in which you/they loved that person and would have done anything for them.

It is also true though that some relationships are toxic and you should not continue to engage in them.  That is what there is to sort out for yourself in any relationship you are struggling in.

My advice in all of this is be yourself in a relationship and be open to your partner, siblings, parents and their own ways of who they are.  We are all unique.  Listen to yourself and not the opinions of others about yourself.  You know you.

If you are stuck in your thoughts and need to step out of them for a bit, take a fitness class.  Seriously, let the happy endorphins flow and then come back to this conversation and see what it looks like.

Love yourself.

Are you struggling in a relationship and unsure of what to do? Need to talk to someone to work it out? Contact me:

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Personal Stories

Relationships Are What We Make Them To Be

I have been in quite a few relationships in my time and at first they are exciting, unpredictable, playful, don’t need sleep anymore this is too much fun.  Then one day it’s like waking up to predictable, boring, “what time do you work?” kind of conversations.

The trick to keeping any relationship you have in your life alive and exciting is to be the one who TOTALLY OWNS it!  Coming from you are “the one” to make it happen and keep the passion alive will have the other person (if they really are the one) step into it and have fun creating as well but someone in the relationship must be the leader.  If two people were doing the tango and neither took the lead, it would not be a dance I would want to watch OR participate in.

Think about it.

In almost every area of our lives, someone must be the leader. The one who sparks the fun, not drags people onto the floor…but that someone who owns it and leads it.  There are captains in sports, supervisors/bosses at work, in ballroom dance one person is the lead, everywhere.

So why not YOU take the lead in keeping the steamy fun of your relationship alive!

I have learned that creativity is key to keeping the fun and passion going! I created date nights! One friday every month. Whoever the selected person for that month is (we alternate each month)must come up with a date idea, can be anywhere in Toronto (or futher) but the date must stay within a budget of $50 all together! Yes, you must be VERY creative to pull this off. (Groupon and Buytopia are awesome for finding ideas!)

We have done things like Paint Nite, hot dog dinner and drinks, IMAX (which was our best date as we turned out to be the only two people in Toronto who went that night so we had the whole place to ourselves!!), gone to jazz clubs and concerts, took a class at the gym, went to an art gallery, beer and life talks and the list goes on and on.

The point is to discover each other over and over and never assume you know everything about the other person or what they are thinking.  By doing different activities with them or having fun chats you discover more about each other than just asking them how their day at work was.  Get to really KNOW them, their likes, loves, passions.

If your relationship begins to fizzle out and become “normal” be the one to own it and spice it up.  Do not blame anyone for the flame burning out.

You get to light up that relationship and see how hot it will burn!

We all have relationships in life….are you ready to have yours be awesome? As a relationship coach I am here to support you. Contact me if you are ready to take the next step:

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My partner and I are extremely playful in life! 🙂

Benefits of Movement

Thinking Past 30 Day Fitness Challenges

This morning I got up to read the news and found tons of “Get Fit Fast” challenges.  While I think it is awesome to jump-start and reboot your body, it is equally important to think about the whole year and your whole life, not just the next 30 days.

Our bodies are where we live and all we got.  If you have no physical roof over your head, you do have the top of your head to protect all the goodness that makes up you….I think you get my point.

There are a few steps to take in sorting out how you will take on your health this year.  To begin, you want to start by checking in with yourself….are you a morning person or a night owl?  Depending on your answer may depend on the time of day that really works for you to work out.  Many people think that you should go at the end of your day but if you are like me and a morning person, I have way more energy in the morning and love getting up, getting a workout in early and then I am energized for the day.

While you may feel after a work out that you are tired, often times within the hour after your work out you get a new boost of energy and can find it harder to go to sleep.  Pay attention to your natural body rhythm and then try classes or your fitness routine at different times and see what best fits your energy.  You can mix it up to if you like! Do weights, cardio, core specific workouts, this will help you to not plateau in what is working for you!

When it comes to food, do not starve yourself.  Starving yourself is NOT dieting or eating healthy.  Eat smaller portions of food every 2-3 hours.  It may sound counter-intuitive to be eating more frequently but this does help your body to process food and burn energy more evenly.

The foods I always choose are sour fruits, nuts, all vegetables, chicken and fish.  If I make a bread choice I try to keep it to gluten-free.  This is the regular eating and then I will take a cheat day once a week.  This is the day I can eat all of life’s delicious, rich, why am I eating this kind of foods.  You don’t have to take a cheat day if you don’t want to.   That’s just me living on the edge.

You don’t have to become vegan or vegetarian to be healthy either.  It does help to become a label reader of your foods.  If you can’t pronounce it….not sure what it is….you should put it back on the shelf. With meats look for antibiotic free, hormone free….may cost more but better for you! That is the best advice I ever got!

When I wanted to really get healthy, I had to start to look at what my daily routine is.  Map it out.  I would journal the time of day my energy was high and low, what I was eating, what types of fitness I was doing, etc.  The great news there is an app out there for all of that!  Much easier to track now.

One piece of important advice I can give you is never give up.  If you try a fitness and you don’t like it, pick something else and try that, keep going and never give up.  Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing, do what works for you.  It is the only way you will win in the health arena!  It takes times and while you can kick-start it all with a 30 day challenge, keep in mind long-term and make health and fitness just a part of your everyday lifestyle.

If you are ready to begin a journey to a healthier you in fitness, food, relationships, career, contact me:

Cidalia's 50th birthday celebration

Personal Stories

Relationships: Tammy & Nino…NOT Love at First Sight!

 

The truth is, Nino and I were NOT a “love at first sight” couple. In fact, quite the opposite.  Nino thought I was stuck up and I thought he was a guy who dated everybody.  While we knew of each other and were taking a course in the same room for 7 months, I had no interest in getting to know him and had no interest in getting to know me.

It wasn’t until one night while our whole class was in new york for a weekend session (literally the month before the course ended) that Nino walked into my friends hotel room on the friday night before class and asked “who wants to go for a martini?”, that I finally spoke up.  Surprisingly, I didn’t want a martini at that time….class was going to start shortly and I was actually offended that he wanted to have a drink before class. (yes, I may have been a little up tight back then….)  I told him that he shouldn’t be going for drinks before class but if he wanted to get one after class, I would join him.  He agreed and so set the events that led to our relationship.

That night we went for a martini after class and talked and talked and talked.  It was like two people who knew nothing about each other just picking random topics to ask the other about.  Neither of us were looking for a relationship.  It wasn’t even a date or anything. Just two people talking.  The first night we closed the bar down talking. We agreed to have a drink again the next night and keep talking, and we did.

By sunday, Nino came to me during the day and said “I am really not looking for anything however, when get back to Toronto, I would like to keep hanging out with you. Are you up for that?”  I thought to myself there is no harm in that and I am not looking for anything either. “Sure.”

When we came back to Toronto, the adventure continued and as we grew closer and more intimate and our coaches (from the program we were taking) found out about our relationship and they asked us to take the coaching and not have an intimate relationship for 60 days. To take 60 days and just get to know each other intellectually and if at the end of 60 days we still felt there was something there then we could go for it.  We lasted ALMOST 45 days (sorry guys…we didn’t make it 60 days!), I think it was, when we knew we both were really attracted to one another both mentally and physically.  It was some of the BEST coaching I have ever taken!

We were related to one another on a much more intimate level than just physical.  We had become great friends, listeners and understood how each other worked and thought.

At about a year together we sat down and agreed we should have the “deal-breaker” talk. What this was for us was that in relationships often times there are things for each us of that if the other person does it or doesn’t want it, it is what gets in the way of the relationship working and will slowly have it all unravel and fall apart so we decided to lay all the “deal-breakers” out on the table at one year together so if it was a big enough breaker then we could walk away then or work it out and no one gets hurt.

Some things that were deal-breakers were about kids. Nino didn’t want anymore.  Good news, I can’t have them so that wasn’t a big deal for me. Cheating on each other/swinging completely a deal -breaker for both of us so that was cool.  Where would we live IF we lived together….needed to be near his daughters, that worked for me (loved those girls from the moment I met them!)…..marriage was not an option either of us wanted to take on again (funny how 8 years passes and here we are married) everything that you can think of that could potentially split a couple up….we laid it on the line over a beer and some wings and saw that there wasn’t any deal-breakers we couldn’t overcome.

I have to tell you, as our relationship continued to develop and things continued to move forward we still didn’t say we were “in” a relationship.  With no titles spoken we were just hanging out, seeing where things went and knew that if we to wanted to leave we just needed to talk to one another.

We gave up all the dating pretenses of what titles need to be there, the happily ever after story, the “it has to look a certain way” and just began to enjoy each others company and craziness.  It was really no different when we decided to move in together.  We just adjusted to seeing each other everyday instead of the weekend relationship we were having.

What I can tell you from what I have learned is that to have a successful relationship I had to be myself, be totally in communication even when I wanted to with-hold my thoughts, be honest to myself and to him AND NEVER STOP CREATING. Everyday is a creation, even to this day. In our relationship, in our careers, in everything! (we do make jokes about each other to one another ALL THE TIME, the difference is we do not take them personally)

We create fun, play, adventures, dinners and when we stop doing that, it gets boring and we start to drift until one of us says “hey! This sucks right now! Let’s have fun again!” and then we get back to being full partners, lovers, best friends and the world is balanced again.

Relationships are a two-way street and the opportunity is to find the person for you that is willing to and up for the challenge of having an adventure filled juicy life AND shares it all in communication with you so the two of you can work anything out.

You have to be willing to stand up for what you want AND to not make others wrong for not wanting what you want. There is a fine line to having it all.  My recommendation is to not get caught up thinking you “know” what you want either….if I had stayed hooked in my first thoughts about Nino, I never would have met him for that martini and we wouldn’t be where we are now!

If you are with someone now and that person you are with is not open to talking, really doesn’t want what you want, you have a choice to either stay with them and be happy as is or to set them free and in a way that honors them and you.  If they are the man or woman of your dreams, continue to create. I highly recommend the “deal-breaker” conversation, it saves a lot of time and heartache!

I want people to know that what Nino and I have is not something special or different from anyone else.  There is just willingness on both sides to create, listen and honor one another everyday.

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Relationship Coaching is available through the Live OUT LOUD Movement. If you are in a relationship OR want to be in a relationship and looking to create a plan/structure to have a successful, happy, loving, juicy relationship, let’s talk!