Health & Well Being, Personal Stories

I Am Under Construction…It Is A GREAT Thing!

I have discovered that everything in life, jobs, relationships, being alive, is always evolving and if I stay “static” or not moving in one area then everything eventually seems like it gets “stuck”. It becomes a force that is very hard to move forward.

The beginning of 2018 brought upon many incidents/accidents that have had me begin to re-evaluate much of what I have been working on.  Not like a problem, only that knowing when many challenges show up, sometimes it is like the universe’s way of saying “HELLO TAMMY!! Are you listening?”

The most prominent that started my year were 2 car accidents less than 2 month’s apart. Both times I was rear-ended and ended up with whiplash and concussions. The second time I was hit, my car that I just purchased less than 6 month’s prior to the accidents, it didn’t make it.

Being that I work primarily in the fitness industry this was very hard physically to see some of the limitations I was having after both accidents.  I had headaches regularly, my body was very sore constantly.  I would easily forget things I had just done or said in the first few weeks following these accidents. It was terribly frustrating at the time.

Thankfully, I know my body well and went directly to my chiropractor and medical doctor right after the accidents. I immediately got the support I needed and have bounced back extremely quickly so I can keep working doing what I love.

That being said, the accidents also opened something up for me. I realized I really had no back up plan if something were to happen that I didn’t “bounce back” again if something else were to happen. The question to myself was “If I am not able to dance anymore, then what?”

I realized this year that my passion is and always will be to support others in discovering what lights them up. Supporting others in finding the relationships they are looking for. Supporting people of all abilities to move and find their groove! Supporting others in making their dreams reality, whether it be fitness goals, relationships, financial, building businesses, creating extraordinary events, and so much more.

The company I have built, the Live OUT LOUD Movement, is so much more than just a fitness program based primarily in Zumba Fitness.

The Live OUT LOUD Movement is a LIFE MOVEMENT.

A place to take all that seems like heavy weights on our shoulders and discover the silver lining within them all to produce extraordinary results in the face of no agreement in life.

I truly believe that everything happens in our lives for a reason. Even all the “bad stuff” that I wish never happened. I see it as it had to happen to show me something that I couldn’t see was available before. In the moment, it never “feels” that way, however the true gift of this MOVEMENT is the opportunity to look more in-depth at what is happening and discover what I/we can’t see right away.  Discovering the knowledge that is hidden deep within what ails us to creating a strong and vibrant life that impacts ourselves and others by what is discovered!

I am in the process of rebuilding new aspects to the Live OUT LOUD Movement and new offerings over the next few months to really dive deep into what is possible through this company to help people in a unique way.

I hope you stick around to see what is next and how it all plays out. I will always continue to dance for as long as my body will let me, you can bet money on that and now is the time for me to take what I have built thus far and expand it far beyond where it is today!

EXCITING TIMES!

I'm under construction and loving it

Benefits of Movement

Do You Lose Your “Self” In Relationships?

Relationships work best when each person continues to know who they are for themselves and to honor the other.

What does that really mean?

I personally, have been in quite a few relationships and one thing I have noticed that always had the relationship fall apart was if I or the person I was with stopped being who they are to suit my needs or for me to suit their needs.  It is like giving up your identity to please someone else.

There is a level at which being with one another that we do need to compromise and find interests that we share together, however, when I was giving up who I was or what was important to me, I stopped doing the things I loved to do.  For example hobbies, sports, being out with friends.

I became dependant on that person to have my life be happy  and working (I had myself no longer be responsible for my own happiness) and inevitably it would end. When I was in a relationship where the other person would behave in this way I saw myself looking to see how far I could push it and when no matter what I did they just had to be there I would eventually end the relationship.

I have discovered in the relationship I am in now, a whole world that I didn’t know was actually possible.  We both came into the relationship (9 years ago) not looking for anything. There was no expectation of a long-term commitment and we both had no attachment to making anything work. Over time we just realized we had fun together. We honored what each other loved to do and gave each other the personal time that couples so desperately need to continue to be their own self.

My partner and I say what is on our mind to each other and we also make sure before we say it that we are saying it in a way that the other person can hear it and does not feel attacked.  Sometimes I open with “I need to talk to you and I am not sure how this is going to come out and I want you to know it is totally not my intention to make you upset…” and then I say what I need to say.  He does the same.  It allows us to communicate in such a way that we can hear each other and do not take the words personally or in a “bad” way.

He and I have our life together and we also have our own lives, which we share about with one another and may not be a participant in it. For example, my partner is an avid photographer. He takes workshops, etc, and shares about them with me but I may not participate.  I am an avid lover of dance and dance all the time, he does not dance and although he tries from time to time….let’s just say it’s not his forte and he chooses not to!

We never attempt to pretend that we like something the other person is doing or try to “become” what they want.  We are accepting of each others individuality and I truly believe that’s what makes us work. Open communication, accepting and being true to who we are. We love each other dearly and we are not obsessed over how our relationship needs to look.

If you look at the relationship you are in now or the relationship you want…are you hooked by the expectations you have? Do you lose your “self” in relationships? 

Look to see. It may be the key to you finding the relationship of your dreams!

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If you are struggling to find the relationship you want or are in a relationship and currently feeling lost or struggling to communicate, contact me below.  Relationships are work and CAN be a lot of FUN!

Personal Stories

Thursday is THE Day…..

Do you ever think about what is your favorite day of the week? For me, I think EVERYDAY is my favorite day of the week. I know that may sound corny but it is true.

Here is why…..

I used to get up and be in bad mood everyday….the only day I was happy was friday because then it was the weekend….This shifted for me a while ago.

I began to realize the importance of any day I was able to get up and get out of bed as being the best day ever.

But Why?

I began to realize that I was taking my life for granted.  I had it like everyone else’s life was better than mine and began being really stingy with being happy.

In my family, it has been constant to hear or read something from the obituaries. It is not that we are a morbid family….we just happen to be present to the obituaries.  I began thinking about those I knew (or didn’t) who lost their lives at a young age and began to become very present to the life I have everyday.

I noticed that I was taking it for granted that the next day would “just be there”…like I am sure some of those who lost their lives did when there was no sign that the next day they would no longer be with us.  When I began to get myself present to this, I began to see my life in a whole new way.

Everyday became awesome and I could discover reasons why everyday of the week really IS awesome!  Here is my theory on the week, take it or leave it or CREATE YOUR OWN:

  1. NO MATTER WHAT everyday is a gift when I can open my eyes and take a deep breathe.
  2. Mondays: Amazing because for me Mondays get the whole week moving! I use it as my planning day in between teaching 3 classes. I like to call them MUSIC MONDAYS. Many times Mondays are when I pick a few new songs to incorporate into the week.
  3. Tuesdays: This day ROCKS because whatever I did on monday, tends to play out here! New music means NEW choreo and I get to take it into class on Tuesdays! It is also a day that I do alot of coaching and I love getting to talk with people!  This is my dog’s favorite day because he goes to Doggy Daycare while I work and plays with all his friends! 🙂
  4. Wednesdays: Come on! Everyone knows why this day ROCKS….IT’S HUMP DAY! WOOHOO! Middle of the week day is always awesome!  I typically have it be a day that I get groceries and clean so I enjoy the time I spend working on making my house a home.
  5. Thursdays: This day is magnificent! My step-daughter (s) come to stay with us on this day so we have so much fun cooking and doing our nails and watching movies together!
  6. Fridays: Funday! That is what it really should be called!  This day really ties up everything that happened during the week. I make a point to respond to emails, look to see what is incomplete that I may need to schedule for the next week and then I do date night with my one and only usually!
  7. Saturdays: I start the day teaching at 9am….there is no better way to kick start the weekend than an aqua zumba class! Workout is done by 945am and I have the whole day to clean, go to a gallery, go shopping, listen to music or just chill!
  8. Sundays: RELAXATION day. Or at least I try! This is the only day of the week that I do NO fitness.  Gotta give the body a wee break from time to time.

Everyday I go to work (except sundays), teach classes, coach and every day continues to have ups and downs and I usually start each day with working by 7am or 8am and finish about 930pm and I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT!

Why?

To go right back to my point #1, no matter what is happening in my life, no matter how busy, how challenging….Everyday is a great day when I can open my eyes and take a deep breathe.

Not everyone gets that opportunity everyday so my request to you…..

LOVE EVERY MINUTE WHILE YOU HAVE IT!

 

Health & Well Being, Personal Stories

Commit…It’s Not That Scary!

I was catching up with a friend over the phone yesterday and we were asking one another about how life was going and what we were up to these days.

My friend asked me “So, how is the life and relationship coaching and zumba going?”

I said “Good, lots of interest but only a few really commit to the program.” As the words spilled out of my mouth it was like an “a-ha!” moment for both of us and we began to laugh.

Relationship and life coaching….my fitness programs….all the things that we “say” are important to us really take a level of commitment that a good amount of people say they want but never really take the steps to commit to and then wonder why it never works out for them.

I talk to people who say to me “Tammy, I really want to have an amazing relationship with my partner”, or “Tammy I really want to get trim and fit this year!” I personally think it is awesome and then there are only a few people that really do the work or take the program on as designed to have that.

What is missing for most people IS commitment.

When I commit to something, I know that even if there are a few bumps in the road, I will succeed because I committed to doing it! I draw the line in the sand and say “this shall be” and nothing will stop me from it.

Webster’s dictionary for the word Commit is:

: to say that (someone or something) will definitely do something : to make (someone or something) obligated to do something

(The other definition is To Do and then its says something illegal or harmful which is not at all what I am talking about! We do not commit that way in my programs…just so you know!)

It’s really that simple.  When you commit to something or someone then you will definitely do it.  In relationships, life and fitness that may be scary to commit to something, however, I am here to tell you NO ONE has EVER produced miraculous results hanging out in their comfort zone.  You got to get a little uncomfortable to have the extraordinary life you say you are committed to!

What I can tell you all with certainty is those people who have committed to our relationship, life and fitness programs and have their plan/goals in place and are working them and with me….they are SEEING the results of happy awesome relationships, living big lives and looking super fabulous and feeling great from working out!

That being said, it’s back in your court….Are you ready to commit to your goals and dreams? 🙂

I am here to support you! Live big! Take Risks! SMILE MORE! Contact me today!

 

 

Personal Stories

How You Show Up In Your Relationships

Do you ever see those people that fit the “perfect couple, white picket fence” theory?  I always want to be the fly on the wall of their home to see the real truth!  Is it really like that? Or do they argue?

It is kind of the same when you go on social media today.  People who look really super happy, but are they really?

We never know what is going on for people behind closed doors and for that reason in itself, we as fellow human beings, should be mindful to not judge or put our opinions on others and their lives.  As a society we tend to show people what we “think” they want to see or show them the side of ourselves that will come with the least amount of judging.

What happens when we take this kind of approach is we suffocate who we really are.   Like who we really are is not important and whatever it is others are saying about us is.

Since Nino and I have been together (nearly 9 years now, where did that time go??) I have had people tell me it won’t work out because we have an age gap.  We come from two totally different worlds in occupation.  To many, nothing about our relationship makes sense.  He is organized, I am open to having to look for my keys on a daily basis.  He thrives on structure, I fly by the seat of my pants….and the list goes on and on.

Do we have arguments? Yes. Do we stay mad at each other or hold grudges? No.

I do not allow the opinions of others to squash how I feel about him. I do not allow our differences or arguments to get in the way of us having a great relationship and neither does he. While we are completely opposite in so many areas, we are able to celebrate and cheer on each other for our uniqueness.  There are moments when we want to “choke” each other (We have NEVER done this by the way, it is just a phrase) but didn’t you have those moments yourself in a relationship or with a sibling?

Were you able to find a way to apologize/work it out and have it all work again?

If no, then that is the area for you to go to work on in your relationships.  This may not be just with your boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife.  This extends all the way into the relationships you have with your own parents, siblings, friends….anyone you see that you have a specific relationship with.

People end/cut off relationships in their life because of things that happen or are said that they make so much meaning out of that they write people off.  It is sad because there was a point in which you/they loved that person and would have done anything for them.

It is also true though that some relationships are toxic and you should not continue to engage in them.  That is what there is to sort out for yourself in any relationship you are struggling in.

My advice in all of this is be yourself in a relationship and be open to your partner, siblings, parents and their own ways of who they are.  We are all unique.  Listen to yourself and not the opinions of others about yourself.  You know you.

If you are stuck in your thoughts and need to step out of them for a bit, take a fitness class.  Seriously, let the happy endorphins flow and then come back to this conversation and see what it looks like.

Love yourself.

Are you struggling in a relationship and unsure of what to do? Need to talk to someone to work it out? Contact me:

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Personal Stories

Relationships Are What We Make Them To Be

I have been in quite a few relationships in my time and at first they are exciting, unpredictable, playful, don’t need sleep anymore this is too much fun.  Then one day it’s like waking up to predictable, boring, “what time do you work?” kind of conversations.

The trick to keeping any relationship you have in your life alive and exciting is to be the one who TOTALLY OWNS it!  Coming from you are “the one” to make it happen and keep the passion alive will have the other person (if they really are the one) step into it and have fun creating as well but someone in the relationship must be the leader.  If two people were doing the tango and neither took the lead, it would not be a dance I would want to watch OR participate in.

Think about it.

In almost every area of our lives, someone must be the leader. The one who sparks the fun, not drags people onto the floor…but that someone who owns it and leads it.  There are captains in sports, supervisors/bosses at work, in ballroom dance one person is the lead, everywhere.

So why not YOU take the lead in keeping the steamy fun of your relationship alive!

I have learned that creativity is key to keeping the fun and passion going! I created date nights! One friday every month. Whoever the selected person for that month is (we alternate each month)must come up with a date idea, can be anywhere in Toronto (or futher) but the date must stay within a budget of $50 all together! Yes, you must be VERY creative to pull this off. (Groupon and Buytopia are awesome for finding ideas!)

We have done things like Paint Nite, hot dog dinner and drinks, IMAX (which was our best date as we turned out to be the only two people in Toronto who went that night so we had the whole place to ourselves!!), gone to jazz clubs and concerts, took a class at the gym, went to an art gallery, beer and life talks and the list goes on and on.

The point is to discover each other over and over and never assume you know everything about the other person or what they are thinking.  By doing different activities with them or having fun chats you discover more about each other than just asking them how their day at work was.  Get to really KNOW them, their likes, loves, passions.

If your relationship begins to fizzle out and become “normal” be the one to own it and spice it up.  Do not blame anyone for the flame burning out.

You get to light up that relationship and see how hot it will burn!

We all have relationships in life….are you ready to have yours be awesome? As a relationship coach I am here to support you. Contact me if you are ready to take the next step:

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My partner and I are extremely playful in life! 🙂

Benefits of Movement, Personal Stories

The Secrets to Living….Shhhhhh…..TELL EVERYONE!

Here it is….the end of the year is upon us.  For some you, you are jumping with joy to start a new year because this one has been all kinds of terrible from your view. For others you are jumping with joy to start a new year because this one was so awesome, you are anticipating your “best year yet!” For another group of people, you are actually BORN today and how cool is that, the WHOLE WORLD is celebrating! I would make it mean they were all so thrilled that I came into the world! HAHAHA!

Whatever your take on New Years and why you celebrate/or don’t it’s all in the world of completion.

Even if you have had what you would consider your worst year ever, look around and see who is there with you.  Do you have people who care about you? Do you have a roof over your head? Do you have food in your belly? Did you laugh at least a couple of times this year? Do you still have all your fingers and toes? In spite of all that happened, did you learn something about yourself you never knew? resilience perhaps?  Really look people…it is all perspective.

There is something to always looking for the silver lining and building upon what has happened in your life.  That is what living IS!

The secret to what living really IS……want to know it? Here it is….

A set of lessons/situations that occur everyday that lead you to your next set of actions or in some cases….in-actions.

That’s it! There you have it! The answer.

Now the challenge is to remember that answer when the next set of “life lessons” stare you down in what appears to be an old-fashioned shoot-out.  It is not easy but it is worth it.

I have had my years of just being thankful that it was finally over.  I even had one year where I was with friends celebrating at  bar and just before the clock rolled over an old friend came over to me and called me….well let’s just say it wasn’t pleasant and we didn’t make plans for dinner anytime soon.

Right up to the last second of the year, things can either look rough OR you can have it be something or someone you learn from and grow stronger and more in tune with who you really are.

If you are a resolution maker, make it AND put your butt on the line to keep it! It is the only way it actually works! 🙂

Don’t let another year go by and you feel lost, hopeless or your goals were not met.  The only way you will feel like this at the end of 2016 is if you did not take your life as lessons and take the actions needed to produce the results you were committed to.

That being said, if you want to create a game plan in the area of relationships, fitness(DANCE your way through 2016!!!), wellness/nutrition, LIFE and you see that a Life and Wellness architect (That’s me!) could support you in having 2016 be the year you blow the door’s off on having an EXTRAORDINARY year to cultivate years to come….Email me below and let’s set up a free consultation.

I truly love you all and am looking forward to all the lessons and life that 2016 may bring! AND if you are reading this and it’s your birthday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOU!!!

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